“Recipe for disaster.” I say it out loud just to make my point to the universe. And the universe responded, a lot quicker than normal. Now, I’m not sure how many of you have been fortunate enough to have been close to the epicenter of an explosion, but it’s just slightly different than in the movies. I know, I’ve been lucky enough to have been in several. The first thing I experienced was a loss of sight, as the light from the explosion hit me. Every part of my eye that was lucky enough to catch a ray or two from the explosion was gonna only see white spots for a while. The second thing I noticed was the concussive force.
The bit of force wave that hit me first came at about my waist, which meant that I was thrown to my right, as the explosion happened on my left, lost my balance, and tumbled to the ground. It was at the moment of being thrown that I know my hearing also went out. I know because everything gets real muffled after the sharp piercing noise of the explosion. Then the pain receptors in my brain start registering the heat from the explosion washing over my skin. This of course is all happening as I’m being knocked over by the concussion. If you happen to be involved in an explosion you won’t be able to tell all of this is happening. After the explosion you might remember some of it, but you really have to be in several before you start to notice all the little things that happen. But those first couple times you feel a shock wave wash over your body, you don’t notice much between “What in the hell was that noise” to “Oh dear Lord thank you, you woke up from the coma.” It’s only later that you remember. Well, I figure in a second I’ll finally hit the ground and pass out for a little while. What I ended up feeling was not the gentle touch of the cold hard steel train platform, but the unexpected softness of high end couch cushions. I still passed out.
Waking up was a less than pleasant experience. I felt wet, my head and body hurt, and there was a loud buzzing in my head. Also my eyes were totally unfocused, and still filled with white spots. Slowly, the buzzing changed from a constant thing to a more rhythmic thing, and the spots in my eyes resolved themselves into blobs of light and dark, and then eventually moving blobs of dark outlined against not moving blobs of light. Why the hell was I wet. I felt my face. It appears that I had had some water splashed on me to aid in the waking up portion of the explosion experience.
“Recipe for disaster. See.” I say. At least that’s what I thought I said. What I probably said was closer to “Recmmm frmm drmmm….”, but who knows cause all I heard myself say was “Buzzzzz buzzz buzzzzzzz”. Eventually my head did clear, my eyes focused, and my ears were able to hear more than louder and softer buzzing. Standing in front, and slightly over me, was a large blue fellow with largish tusks and largish ears. His breath was less than pleasant. He was dressed in something akin to a butler’s outfit, which, if you can imagine it, was very ridiculous looking. I mean seriously, who dresses up a 7 foot tall, hulking, blue guy, with green hair and tusks, in a monkey suit?…wait…maybe I just answered my own question. In his hand I could see an ice bucket.
Slightly behind him was a much smaller figure. A woman, or girl, or something akin to that. She had on a long black dress that was semi revealing. She must be the witch, I thought to myself, witches always wear black dresses that are semi-revealing, am I right? She was smiling slightly, although her face was half hidden by her hair, which was not unkempt but just kind of flowed down from the top of her head in all directions, instead of being pulled all to the back. Kinda creepy when you see it, cause it’s hard to see the eyes.
“Hello, Mr. Bernie. Welcome to my home. I am Miley Stiles,” she said.
